So for the past 3 weeks or so, I’ve been busy as hell with website projects here at TGN, but now that it’s time for the 3rd closed beta for Rift, I’m allowed to game again! So, heres my check list.

1. Duct Tape – In case my hand and mouse separate, the kids are mis-behaving, or I just can’t get people to be quiet here… It’s not just for Red Necks! Perhaps I could tape up a Tear before it becomes a Rift even, will advise once I’ve tried it.
2. Excedrin – Has caffeine… it also provides a bit of relief for sore hands, aching wrists and eye-strain induced brain swelling.
3. Red Bull – Provides a kick in the face to your taste-buds, as well as a small boost to overall situational awareness. Not recommended in high-quantities, instead drink
4. Gatorade – A great source of replenishment for the sweat, tears and strain that this beta-event will require. A solid understanding of nutrition isn’t required; it helps you game harder, better, faster, strong…
5. 4-5 hours of “hype” music – What is “hype” music? It’s that music you hear that causes goose-bumps, increases your attitude and generally makes you feel bullet proof.



6. No-Partner – Keep’m busy, and preferably out of the house, take the kids if they can. My wife had a Dr. appointment, then had to do some returns, I forfeited my gift-cards from Christmas just to ensure she’d be gone long enough to enter my zone. Once she returns and sees me in my zone, she’ll know to stay away.
7. Skype and Vent – Here at TGN, we’ve got a small army covering Rift and these beta-events. I must ensure we are talking, but not so much as to slow down our progression through beta-event content.
8. Hot Pockets, Corn Dogs and some odd fudge – Not sure which relative gave me the fudge, but thank you! Not sure what flavor it is either, but thats ok. Once I’ve downed enough hot-pockets and corn-dogs, it doesn’t really matter.
9. Mouth Piece – I grit my teeth alot when I game.
10. Crank – Sure, people will argue that it’s got bad side-effects, BUT it will allow me to game for 3 days straight without having to worry about sleep.

^*To keep this gender-neutral, when I reference ‘Wife’, you can read it as ‘Significant Other’.
^*To keep this animal-neutral, when I reference ‘Kids’, you can read it as ‘Anyone under your control’.
^*To keep this newbie-neutral, if you don’t understand something above, don’t speak in public-channels in-game.
^*To keep this troll-neutral, please refer to the troll video

Ok, so it may not be the most politically correct, legal, moral or acceptable preparations. However if you disagree with this, leave a comment below.

If you don’t understand any of the items above, you’ve obviously not seen Rift Gameplay Videos, don’t have a VIP-Key, or just don’t like life.

    - NonFail